Promises

I remember how my heart burst when I saw you for the first time

How overwhelmed I felt when I held you for the first time

How I made so many promises looking at your innocent face

How I promised to be this supremely cool parent.

How I promised to love you unconditionally.

How I pictured all the fun things we would do together.

How i wouldn’t be one of those crazy worriers.

How I would be this ocean of patience,

How I would never yell

These were a few. There were a million more.

I think I’ve broken all except one.

Parenting has taught me one  HUGE thing:

That raising another human being doesn’t follow any pre-written rule-

And if you think it does, you’re in for a big shock.

My thoughts on parenting before kids and the reality are so different.

There will be so many people doling out advice. Most well meaning. But you need to do what you need to do.

You know what’s best for your child. Else you will figure it out. Your own way and sometimes the hard way.

It’s been almost 9 years since the mom version of me was born

Since then,

I’ve eaten my words,

I’m not the “Cool” mom. I’M the mean one.

The rule breaker me created and enforced rules.

I found my inner disciplinarian.

I embraced my inner chef- the one who made jam sandwiches when sleep deprived.

I realised that love and patience were related but not by much.

I’ve yelled more than I care for. My love and my temper had nothing to do with each other.

I had to go back to the drawing board to raise my daughter because my kids were so different.

and I found myself changing so much.

But there’s just one promise holds good from both those days- the first time I held my babies .

The promise of unconditional love.

And that will always be.

The rest, let’s just play it by the ear.

babies

 

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Writing as a part of Team Blue Lagoon on the prompt- Promises.

 

 

 

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