Making peace

I lost an uncle this week. One passed away last month. Both these uncles were huge parts of my childhood. I wasn’t as close as an adult for whatever reason. The last two days I’ve just been thinking … People change.Relationships, friendships, acquaintances – all change. It’s the only constant. Not one that I like, understand or want to accept. But they do. And not all evolutions or change seem to be for the better. Some leave you awestruck while others confuse you. Some hurt. Some make you just mad as hell… But acceptance is always hard to come by. Self or otherwise.  And life brings you to the point where you just let go and make peace. This was something I wrote sometime back about letting go and when I was having a hard time with it.

Of all the things in my life

that I’d thought I would let go of,

You never figured on the list.

You never made the cut

I didn’t think I would ever

or that I could even.

But today I am

letting go of my idea of you,

And accepting the reality of you.

Letting go of my idea of the ideal

and accepting that the friendship is buried under too much baggage.

Letting go of the my idea of the way I should love you

and begin to love you the only way I can.

Letting go of the bitterness

and accepting that despite everything we were still laughing together.

Letting go of the hurt

and accepting all that happened and the choice was mine to forgive- myself and you.

And I choose that.

To forgive myself. To make peace with myself.

To let go of you.

And accept me.

For myself.

and Us- the way we are now.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Making peace

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s