I live a couple of floors above your apartment.
I didn’t know you personally, but I grieved for you.
I said a prayer this morning, when I passed by where you lay.
I was mad as hell that you felt compelled to do what you did.
I wish that there was just that one moment when the pain didn’t feel so huge, that the ground didn’t look like a better option.
I wish that one calming thought popped in that would’ve stopped you.. made you just punch a pillow or throw something instead.
I wish your school had a better attitude and environment for teens and their raging hormones rather than the regressive atmosphere.
I wish you realized that no matter how mad parents got, their kids would always be the most treasured people in their lives. And parents are always in your corner sometimes even when they don’t get you at all. Most times, they are really doing just the best they can.
I don’t know if you had someone you could’ve talked to, if you did, I wish you had called them.
I watched your mother come apart.. and I felt sucker punched.
It truly was a parent’s worst nightmare.
I don’t know what your dreams were, what your parents dreams were for you,
I do know you loved reading, you were a dreamer and you had big plans
And they were cruelly cut short.
I do hope that at least now your school puts better systems in place to deal with teenagers and understands that it’s a tough age to be. I don’t get a co-education where you have girls and boys studying in the same school but have an issue with them mingling. That you don’t make allowances for the reality of a teenage romance or even just a deep friendship. It was like that while I was growing up in the 90s. I’m so sorry and angry that things haven’t really changed.
I hope deeply that schools handle the issue you faced with a lot more understanding going forward.
Because, suicide is never an answer and 15 is no age to die.
Where ever you are now, I hope you are at peace.
RIP little girl.